sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
