the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
