Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
