Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
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