Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
