He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
