The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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