....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
