the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
