what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
