That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
