I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
