you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
