i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
