Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
