So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
