Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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