he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
