How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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