Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
