Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
