I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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