Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize