oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you had me at cake vodka
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
