Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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