i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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