oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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