I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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