her vagine was all disorganized.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
