When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
