yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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