areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
