yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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