I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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