Do you still have your period?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
