i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
