So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
