fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
