i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
