Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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