He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
