I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
