office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
