i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
