She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
