And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
