She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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