Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
