So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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