when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
