he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
