so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
