I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
