that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
All I want is dick and wine.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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