Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
