Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
