wat bout pragnant strippers??
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
