I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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