It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
